Monday, January 02, 2006

ok read this entry only if u're extremely bored n have like 20 mins of time to burn

rit.. lemme juz do smth lame.. hrm smth like coming up wif a story wif let's say.. an egg/toilet bowl/brad pitt/snow white..

once upon a time, there was a brilliant chicken god. it was the god which every human being on earth worshipped. the chicken god has the head of a sea urchin, wings of a fish, limbs of a snake, tail of chimpanzee, feathers of a pig and the bones of a slug.. and somehow it was called a chicken god.. so this god controlled life on planet earth.. a beautiful little planet in e solar system.. anw.. life continued that way for about 10 seconds and our great god decided that it was getting boring.. so it(apparently due to the fact tt there's only one god.. it has to be unisexual) decided it's time to lay an egg, and poof! there's our egg!! the people of earth rejoiced at this moment.. as the great egg of chicken god fell from the sky into some messy little hut in some stupid farm somewhere on earth.. and the egg cracked.. a small chicken emerged from it!! it was chicken little!! oh and did i forget to mention that men decided to record time in terms of BC/AD on that day? yea and the
BC literally meant before chicken. bet u din noe that!
ok back to our main character.. chicken little didn't resemble his father/mother/wadeva at all.. amazingly he looked like a.. chicken!! but hey, who cares? he's a demigod isn't he? so the people worshipped chicken little juz like the way history said about jesus, onli that people later decided that chickens should appear on the dinner table not in textbooks.. so day by day chicken little grew.. oh yes he grew.. and interestingly.. the more he grew.. the more he resembled a human.. call it transmofiguration or wadeva.. maybe he had some human genes in him after all.. or might it be some divine intervention? no matter.. he grew to be a handsome young man.. so he gave himself the name 'brad pitt'. maybe our brad pitt also had a striking resemblance to chicken when he was a child.. and his mom named him after chicken little.. oh well, we would never know..
anywayz.. the people continued to worship him.. no matter where he goes, he would be served the best wine and food, the best accommodation and entertainment(and by entertainment i don't mean PS2).. everything seemed to be perfect, pitt thought, this is heaven on earth..
but the good days are always shortlived.. soon there came trouble.. earth was under attack by giant toilet bowls popping out of nowhere.. yea blame it on the scientists testing their time machines with toilet bowls.. anyway the world was chaotic.. with robotic toilet bowls flying all over forcing people to ahem..
pitt was the son of god, certainly he wouldn't allow such disastrous things to happen on earth.. indeed, he immediately called his dad/mom/wadeva wif his new nokia hp.. but alas.. our great chicken god it paying his old fren the turkey god on venus a visit.. and possibly helping him creat life on venus so the turkey wouldn't be so bored to invent holidays like thanksgiving, which the humans resented so much that they decided to eat turkeys as revenge..
anyway.. pitt decided that it's time for him to put an end to evil once and for all.. so he brought his only weapons given to him by his god father, i mean his father is a god, not his godfather for goodness sake.. a bunch of nuclear cruise missles made from superduperdestructivium, a rare element unknown to man.. so he launched the missles at the toilet bowls, hoping to destroy them. but sadly the scientests who tested the time machines were too smart that they invented self protection divice on their toilet bowls(why would any idiot do that?). so the missles got deflected and fly to outerspace.. where they hit 8 planets originally oso in the solar system and ignited them.. goodness! now there's the flying-toilet-bowl problem and the 9-sun-in-e-sky problem.. but worry not.. pitt knows exactly what has to be done.. he dialled the official chinese help hotline and got some stupid archer help him shoot down 8 suns.. in gratitude pitt decided to expand china's territory and made it into a rooster, symbolising it royalty.. (chicken/rooster/royalty.. if u still dun get it, i suggest u see a doctor)
so the battle with flying toilet bowls continued, thou pitt was a energetic young man.. he grew tired after battling for 30 days nonstop, except maybe for toilet/breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper/desert/afternoon nap breaks.. his perception and agility started to fail him.. he couldn't last much longer.. at this critical moment.. someone appeared!! well you might have already guessed who she is.. yes! you're right! it's snow white!! our princess has been having stomachache ever since she ate the unripe pineapple that the witch-like fruit seller sold her.. her stomachache was so urgent that she even decided not to sue the fruit seller so that she can get a year's supply of free pineapples.. but that is not the point, the point is she's here.. finally.. and she ran.. like the wind.. towards the hovering toilet bowls..
@^%^$&!%^#^$*%*# (scenes cut for goodness sake.. don't ask me y)
'oh princess princess, how can i ever repay your kindness.. you are my hero.. heroine i mean..'
'who're YOU? eh.. get out of my sight la.. i still gotta find tt goddamn fruit seller.. kns'
'oh please.. please.. my princess, i'll do anything for you!!'
'you will?'
'yes!!!'
'anything?'
'anything!!!'
'go clean the those toilet bowls..'
'...'
so after 27 hours 34 minutes and 53 seconds of horrible horrible labour.. pitt finally cleaned the dead flying toilet bowls.. or what's left of them.. and of coz, our princess' ahem with it's characteristic smell of unripe pineapples..
'i'm done.'
'oh, you can go now'
'don't you have anything to say to me?'
'no.'
'come on.. for your information i'm brad pitt the son of god'
'like i care'
'er.. how bout this.. wanna play PS2?'
'sure!'
'but you'll have to marry me first'
'uh.. okay.. y not'
and so they lived happily ever after...
--THE END--

oh no.. i seriously am bored..

4:58 AM

walkingalone