Wednesday, January 04, 2006

monk/were-centipede/hair gel/microsoft
ok.. took me quite long to actualli come up wif those 4 things.. anw here goes..

and so they lived happily ever after...
--THE END--
but the end is actualli not the end.. and so our story continues..
twice upon a time, after pitt and snow white got married, they had a son.. thankfully their son wasn't like pitt, who was a chicken at birth if u still remember.. their son was normal.. it was commonly believed that the recessive chicken genes pitt had was supressed by the dominant human genes of snow white.. but we wouldn't venture too much into that crap.. it didn't matter at that time anywayz, science back then was about alchemy not genetic engineering..
so young pitt grew.. oh yea his name was patrick.. coz pitt insisted that he looked somewhat like a starfish.. thou snow white had a hard time spotting the similarities besides the fact that they're both bald.. (and no for your information i cannot choose sponge bob square pants because he has 1 strand of hair) anywayz.. patrick was strong.. much stronger than his father.. at the age of twelve he can life twenty five elephants with one finger.. (you weren't there to see it, so shuddup n believe it) oh did i mention it's paper elephants? but that's hardly the point.. when patrick turned twenty.. he got bored of playing PS2 everyday.. so he decided that it's time for him to see the world.. pitt/snow whitel were too busy reading hairy potter to care about their son.. so patrick set off on his journey..
country after country patrick travelled.. he was there when king Khufu's great pyramid was built by FedEx, when the hanging gardens of babylon fell from the sky and killed 27 pigs, when king authur set his excalibur in the stone and flirted with lady of the lake, he has been to almost everywhere.. anw the end of his journey was china.. the country which still looked like a rooster after all these years..
so from egypt patrick jumped.. he jumped so high such that he can even see the earth spinning under him.. and when he landed.. POOF!! he's in china!! but china was a big country.. 9.6 mil km square is.. big.. much bigger than the football field outside your house..
one night patrick came across a mountain that had a sigh of 'beware of were-centipede'.. patrick was of course.. not daunted by such things.. continued.. but soon he saw it.. a 500 meters long furry centipede.. omg you should have seen it, a centipede couldn't have been scarier.. so the battle began.. and it ended about 3 seconds later.. coz our hero looked at the moon and prayed to elune the goddess of moon, and suddenly the recessive chicken genes in him were activated.. he transformed into a huge chicken and ate the furry were-centipede..
10 years have passed and patrick has still not found the palace of china.. so he decided that this country has no palace and it's time to have one.. so he built a temple to worship himself.. and gathered lots of young boys as servants.. soon the place got famous and people gathered and a city sprang.. people worshipped patrick juz like they worshipped pitt.. they even shaved their head to try to look like patrick.. they even called themselves monks.. which is literally the short form of melicallia omnigalius nakaito kana-sai(the kana-sai is semi linked so you can call them monk or monks).. and these monks still exists todae..
patrick didn't realli like martial arts.. he liked money.. and he was a genius at making them.. well he didn't starve to death in china because he has always been selling his self made hair gel.. made from a list of secret ingredients brewed specially.. (lemme tell u this so u can give it a try)
1) 50 grams of bullshit(birdshit can be used as substitute) heated under non-luminous bunsen flame for 10 minuts..
2) add 10 grams of acidified crushed egg shell(HCl recommended).
3) on standing, mixture should turn green, shake vigourously until effervescence is observed.
4) add drop wise, fresh gorilla milk until mixture is decolourised.
5) stir mixture with glassrod, 13 times clockwise, 4 times anticlockwise, 6 times clockwise, 2 times anticlockwise. (or u can juz stir it anyhow 25 times)
6) add 2 drops of sweat into mixture. tiny smoke skull should appear above mixture.
7) final step, taste the mixture, if you don't die, you have the hair gel!
but soon after the population of monks increased.. patrick found it hard to sell hair gel(please don't ask y.. if u dun understand i suggest you seek immediate medical attention).. so he decided to go into computer software bussiness..
the initial name of his company was actually verysoft.. but he thought it sounded soft.. so he changed it to microsoft, so that even if the name sounded soft, it was micro soft, not very soft..
well anywayz.. in case you don't know.. the only reason bill gates is so rich is because he inherited patrick's genes and would transform into a gigantic chicken and peck at those who didn't buy his products..
back to patrick.. (gosh i'm getting sleepy).. patrick.. well.. went diving one day near south china sea.. and amazingly he found that he can breath underwater!!! so he hired mortred the phantom assassin to assassinate the real patrick in bikini bottoms and replaced him and lived there happily ever after..
--THE END--

ok this times i tried more paragraphs..
hope it won't look like one whole chunk of rubbish.. but afew chunks of rubbish.. lol

2:14 AM

walkingalone